I’m back. And as I always say to the highway patrolman when he looks at me funny, “Get bent, honky!”
But really, you can check out my farewell post at The Rumble, here. The Sporting News is killing all of their blogging content and intends to become a waystation for discussions of RBIs and the dime defense. More power to them.
As for me, it’s time to get radical again. The Rumble was fun, but frankly I only get about one good idea a week, and most of them have to do with ways to bring down the mendacious system we live in. As L. Cohen always said, “They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom, for trying to change the system from within.” In some sense I consider this an early parole.
Inspired by some Freedarko friends I have some big ideas for the future; which I won’t expand on too much for fear of disappointing, given my family's somewhat loving nickname for me, “The laziest white boy in America. I’ve already talked with a couple outlets on doing some freelance stuff and you can also keep track of me on my newly acquired twitter. I’m so pithy I hurt my own brains.
But to start things off I thought I’d give a little preview of this weekend’s big fight, Chad Dawson-Jean Pascal. They made this sucker about six months ago, at which point I was incredibly excited, but I’m almost exhausted from the wait.
Almost, but not quite. I think it has some real potential. Dawson is an excellent fighter, well-deserving of his spot on the important lists, but let’s be real here… I might be “the laziest white boy in America,” but Chad Dawson is auditioning for the part of “the most boring black man on the continent.”
And I don’t mean only in the ring. He’s actually not a colossal stinker in there. Yeah, he’s a boxer first, but he’ll rumble when he has to. He simply has zero on the charisma meter, I’m talking nothing here… as in the first certifiably comatose champion in boxing history. So little interest he has garnered that he’s actually going on the road for this fight.
And that’s why he needs Pascal. Jean Pascal is just the sort of loose-limbed French speaking Montrealer (sic) that dreams are made of. He’s powerful and athletic, but reminds me of an MMA fighter, and I don’t mean that in a flattering way. He’s all flail and juke and lunge. The kind of guy who’s liable to head butt the referee by accident.
I have a feeling the styles will mix. I don’t see anyone at light heavyweight who can match Dawson’s science, so you need an opponent of a different sort. A martian using perhaps inferior - but nonetheless effective – technology is capable of disrupting a more mechanistically advanced society.
That’s Pascal’s shot. I think he’ll land some obnoxious wingers and Dawson will get hurt. Dawson has shown some fragility in the past, so he’ll be vulnerable, but… ultimately, I think he’ll make it to the end.
And if it goes the twelve I just can’t see Pascal winning. Dawson is too good. So despite some hairy moments I see Chad Dawson unifying the titles and becoming the Ring Magazine light heavyweight champion. He doesn’t have the personality to fill the prestigious role, but if you’re good enough, it makes up for all the rest.